Book Review: A Light So Lovely

“What would it look like to have friendships with those who are not like us, wherein we learn to argue well and lovingly- and yet at the end of the day we can still be friends?”

So asks author Sarah Arthur in A Light So Lovely: The Spiritual Legacy of Madeleine L’Engle in regards to the friendship L’Engle shared with Luci Shaw.

light so lovely

Longtime followers of our blog will recall that I reviewed Madeleine and Luci’s book Friends for the Journey  in 2014. I even listed it as a complementary book example in the proposal I wrote for Mary & Me,

“And you, on your part, can make radical theological statements with which I may disagree, but again, because of our bond of love we accept each other for who we are, flawed and failing, but always truth-seeking,” Luci wrote to Madeleine in their co-authored book.

“Do you feel it, the quiver of longing? I’m guessing I’m not the only one who knows firsthand just how rare, how valuable, such a grace-filled, truth-seeking kind of friend is. Not an idol, not a mentor or spiritual director: a friend.” Sarah Arthur marvels.

Mary Humston and I are blessed to share that unique kind of friendship. Before we co-wrote Mary & Me, I would have said we are more alike than we are different, but our co-writing venture seems to have heightened the differences between us, opening the door to conversations we may have avoided before through thousands of letters. We’ve discussed political issues more in the ensuing three years than we had in the previous thirty. A recent exchange regarding educational reform ended with a respectful agreement to disagree.

“This is a lost art in our culture, particularly as we create ever narrower, taller, insular silos on social media, cut off from opposing viewpoints. With a mere click of a button we can ‘unfriend’ and ‘unfollow’ those with whom we disagree…” Sarah Arthur continues. Her depth of research into Madeleine L’Engle’s life reveals a woman who, much like my dear friend Mary, always attempted to practice charity and empathy towards others. About an acquaintance who worshipped alongside her every day but hated all people of an Asian descent, Madeleine wrote “Surely within me there is an equal blindness, something that I do not recognize in myself, that I justify without even realizing it. All right, brother. Let us be forgiven together, then.”

“All right, brother, we say to the angry relative at Thanksgiving. All right, sister, we say to the person on social media whose politics sound like a foreign language. All right, we say to our idols when they disappoint us. Let us be forgiven together, then. We will only make a way forward when we recognize that we too are flawed and wounded sojourners, that where we are now on the journey is not the end game,” Sarah Arthur extrapolates.

Up until the reading of this beautifully-written biography, I’ve managed to pointedly ignore any hint of criticism of my idol, Madeleine L’Engle, preferring instead to keep the Christian mother and author atop the carefully crafted pedestal I’d established for her in my mind. Somehow, Arthur has managed to delve into that criticism in a way that does not cause disappointment, but instead reveals the complexity of a woman who, despite her failings, still managed to convey a strength and faith we should all strive for.

“Madeleine showed up to serve the work of writing; she disciplined herself to sit down and be present. And she showed up as a struggling believer; she disciplined herself to continue praying, continue reading the Bible, continue practicing hospitality, continue worshiping in community. She perhaps never wrested every chapter of her life into a tidy resolution in which ‘all shall be well,’ but she put her trust in the One whose love does not fail.”

In sharing Madeleine’s own words from the 1996 Festival of Faith and Writing, Sarah Arthur reveals my own greatest desire;

“We’re  supposed to be such witnesses of Christ’s love that other people will want to know what makes us glow.”

Novelist Leif Enger called Madeleine “an apologist for joy,” Sarah Arthur informs the reader. A Light So Lovely aptly conveys that aspect of her.

 

 

 

Advertisements

One week in…National Card and Letter Writing Month

april-letterwriting-month

How could I have let a week of April go by without mentioning that this month is National Card and Letter Writing month? The U.S. Postal Service officially designated it so in 2001 “to raise awareness of the importance and historical significance of card and letter writing.”

Neither Mary needs a month dedicated to letter-writing to coax them into writing letters, but we certainly couldn’t let the month go by without some mention on our blog that is dedicated to letter-writing, friendship, and good books.

Speaking of blogging, this Mary (Mary PK) is headed to a blogging panel at the Cedar Falls library this afternoon.

blogging panel

I began my Mary Potter Kenyon blog in June 2009, nearly nine years ago. The blog tagline was “Housewife Writer Dishes on Writing,” and I mostly wrote about mothering, couponing, and well…writing.  My youngest child would turn six the following month, which coincidently would also be when I began work on a book that would become Coupon Crazy: The Science, the Savings, and the Stories Behind America’s Extreme Obsession.  I’ve signed six book contracts in the ensuing years, so this “housewife” must have been doing something right on the writing front. Now my blog is also my website, with the inelegantly dubbed heading; “Author, Public Speaker, Workshop Presenter.” I began another blog, “Crazy Couponer: Tales from the Dark Side of Couponing” in anticipation for the release of that book, sharing pieces of my work-in-progress, (yes, Virginia, there is a dark side to couponing, and you can read about it in my book) along with stories and photos of my own super savings shopping trips and my transition from coupon box to coupon binder.  That was a fun blog to maintain, but a person only has so much time, and with two new books coming out in 2014, something had to give.

And sometimes, that something is blogging. This blog, “Mary & Me,” was created in November 2014, in anticipation of Mary & Me: A Lasting Link Through Ink, with the post-writing duty shared by my co-author. I expect it will keep going as long as we have books to review and letter-writing and friendship topics to share.

On that “note,” isn’t it time you celebrated April by writing a letter of your own?

Mary, and Me, Update…

By Mary Jedlicka Humston

If you’ve followed this site in the past, you’ve noticed a long drought of blogless days. What in the world happened?
It boils down to two things: bicycles and books.
I’ll start with the bicycle since that relates to me. It was a lovely fall day on Oct. 8 in Lanesboro, MN. My husband Jim, another couple, and I rode the scenic trails on a brilliant Sunday morning. We’d only traveled five miles, out of the 19 we’d ride that day, when our group suddenly slowed. This was done frequently since there was a lot of traffic on the trail: bikers, walkers, joggers. When we slowed this time, I wasn’t prepared, and my front tire clipped Jim’s back tire.
You know how something’s going to happen, and you can’t stop it? I knew I was going to tip over, but I couldn’t right the bike in time. BAM! I fell hard on unforgiving asphalt.
Road rash bleeding on my left knee and left hand were the obvious injuries, but my right arm (which instinctively shot out to break the fall) was sore. I repeatedly but gently shook it, remarking that my elbow hurt, and how I must’ve jammed it. I knew how badly that hurts, since I jammed both elbows at a cheerleading camp one summer in the ‘70s.
Grateful for my helmet and that I hadn’t fallen on my face or head, I got back on the bike and rode five miles to our car where Jim bandaged my knee and hand.

Our group continued on until we stopped for pie, a biker’s reward for hard work. When I couldn’t guide the fork of pumpkin crunch pie to my mouth, I thought, “Oh, no. I must’ve jammed my wrist, too.” So, the left hand pitch-hit and carried out the pie-eating duties. The remaining five miles really stressed the fact that my wrist wasn’t doing well. Shifting gears was painful. We headed for Iowa City. Once home, an ER visit was deemed necessary. Lo and behold, x-rays discovered a broken right elbow and a suspected broken right wrist. Thus, began a five to six week period with a splint, sling, or cast.

Mary jh.jpg
This brings me to Mary, our blog, and me. The right is my dominant hand. Imagine this. In all our years of friendship neither of us had ever had injuries get in the way of our letter writing. Now, I had to use my left hand. I did the best I could. These letters weren’t exactly pretty. They required extra time and patience. My hand tired easily. And, hardest of all for me, I couldn’t expound on my feelings much, or I’d have been travailing with the pen and paper for hours.
I started the car by sitting in the passenger seat, reaching the ignition with my left hand, jumping out of the car to the driver’s side and then driving with my left hand, performing amazing stretches and acrobatics with the seatbelt and shifting from drive to reverse to park. So, driving 90 miles one-way to visit Mary didn’t happen either. Exhaustion, lack of energy, and napping figured into this equation, too,

A bicycle accident changed our letter writing but didn’t stop us. It did, however, affect our blog postsRemember I mentioned the second reason for this blog drought? Books.

Mary signed a contract in November, and is hard at work on her next book, which I’ll let her tell you about in a future blog post.

So here it is; our first Mary and Me blog post since November 3, right in time for the holidays. Mary is busy writing her new book, and I’m still working hard on the physical therapy exercises and stretches and achieving almost complete range of motion.

Merry, Merry Christmas from Mary and Mary!!

Book Review: The Guineveres

Review by Mary Jedlicka Humston

If you’re looking for a book on friendship, consider picking up The Guineveres by Sarah Domet.

guineveres.jpg

Four teens, all named Guinevere, meet at a Catholic convent, a boarding school where residents aren’t clamoring for admittance. Taking place in a war torn country, the girls discover that convent life is strict, challenging, and full of deprivation.
Vere, Win, Gwen, and Ginny aren’t at the convent by choice. Each has tragic reasons for attending there. Each faces personal struggles. Each finds comfort and solace with the others. However, it’s clear they’d never have become friends if their names hadn’t been Guinevere, for it’s the name that solidifies their unified loyalty. War plays an integral part in this debut novel alongside the medical and nursing home facility the nuns operate besides the school.
The author weaves the Guineveres’ past, present and future into the novel, so the reader comes away knowing the why, what, and where of each of their lives.
Four very different girls become friends under unique, sad circumstances. Readers will find themselves rooting for them, both individually and as a foursome. I found it an absorbing, worthwhile read.

Love, Henri: Letters on the Spiritual Life

quote-henri-nouwen-the-friend-who-can-be-silent-with-38981

Readers of Mary & Me will know that Mary Humston was that kind of friend for me after the death of my husband in 2012. She still is.

Henri Nouwen was that kind of friend to those who corresponded with him. An internationally renowned priest and author, respected professor and beloved pastor, Nouwen wrote over 40 books on the spiritual life. He corresponded regularly in English, Dutch, German, French and Spanish with hundreds of friends and reached out to thousands through his books, lectures and retreats. Since his death in 1996, his literary legacy has only increased, with readers, writers, teachers and spiritual seekers being guided by his words.

When he died, he left behind a treasury of personal papers, including 16,000 letters. He not only kept every postcard, piece of paper, and greeting card that arrived in his mail, he responded to each of them.

Love Henri: Letters on the Spiritual Life is a collection of letters that spans more than two decades, from Nouwen’s years as a professor, to his time as a Trappist monk, to missionary work in Latin American, and finally his role as a pastor of a community of people with disabilities. Friends wrote him about their grief, deteriorating marriages, faltering faith, and job struggles, and these letters in reply are extraordinary.

love-henri

To a friend considering quitting his job, Nouwen wrote: “…my first inclination is to encourage you in your work which you have started. It seems you are in a spot which is hard, but which has many, many opportunities, and there are indeed people there who need your presence, your encouragement, your insights, and most of all, your deep religious commitment.

I have a feeling that in the future you will be called to other places and to other types of work, but it seems that a few year in this dessert might in fact be a good preparation for the more involved type of ministry.”

He goes on to say;

“Be sure to be very faithful to a regular prayer life, to spend a lot of time in reading and to stay in in good contact with friends whom you trust. I am sure after a while it will become clear where God is calling you, but my first response to your letter is that right now he calls you to be just where you are.”

This is the kind of advice we could all use when we are struggling with something; a reminder to pray, to read, to take some contemplative time, and to be willing to trust God that there is a plan in all of it.

I had to set this book aside for several days after I read it, as I contemplated some of my own struggles.  I have a mentor or two in my own life that I write to, and while their replies are more often by e-mail than snail mail, their advice is similar to Nouwen’s. We get so busy in our hectic lives, we forget to make time to pray, to listen to God.

This is one of the few books of actual letters that I’ve read, and I enjoyed it immensely. It has gotten me interested in reading more of Nouwen’s work.

Carry On: A Story of Resilience, Redemption, and an Unlikely Family

Book Review by Mary Jedlicka Humston

“The script of sports emphasizes competitive bonds and the meaning of a teammate. Dartanyon carrying Leroy legitimized that bond in a tangible way.” (Carry On, by Lisa Fenn, page 93)

A tragic train accident in elementary school claims both of Leroy Sutton’s legs. Dartanyon Crockett is legally blind. When these two poverty-stricken high schoolers become wrestling teammates, their disabilities connect them in countless ways, especially when Dartanyon begins carrying Leroy.

Yes, physically carrying Leroy on his back.

carry-on
The author, Lisa Fenn, a six-time Emmy Award-winning feature producer with ESPN for thirteen years, hears about the duo who attend a tough Cleveland public school. She expresses interest in producing an ESPN program featuring the inspiring story of their friendship and brother-like bond. Soon, the tale travels far beyond their high school halls.
Carry On grips us from the start, pulling us so deep into Leroy and Dartanyon’s lives to the point where we care what happens to them long after the celebrated ESPN show. Fenn follows Leroy and Dartanyon after high school graduation, into college, and beyond.
Don’t shy away from this book because you’re not a sports fan. There’s much more depth here than Fenn merely detailing an ESPN storyline. She takes us on an incredible journey of the relationship between these two young men and then the one that remarkably includes Fenn and her family.
She says it best when she writes:
“They drew us out of safe places to become bridges across perceived barriers of race and class…They taught us that when we accept what we are called to do, we become who we are created to be. They taught us to carry on.” (page 295)

We can’t help but be moved by Leroy and Dartanyon’s extraordinary friendship and how Fenn’s life meshes with theirs. This is a memoir of guts, poverty, pain, courage, perseverance, and success.
Don’t miss it.

Book Review: Dinner With Edward

Reviewed by Mary Jedlicka Humston

Dinner with Edward: A Story of an Unexpected Friendship has the feel of Tuesdays with Morrie (by author Mitch Albom) combined with a food lover’s quest for great food, making this little book a delightful read.

dinner with edward.jpg
Isabel Vincent, an investigative reporter for the “New York Post” as well as the author of four books, is asked by her friend, Valerie, to check in on her father, Edward, when her mother, Paula, passes away after sixty-nine years of marriage. Vincent, who lives near Edward in New York, agrees to do this after Valerie departs home to Canada.
What evolves are weekly dinners that create a special bond between the grieving nonagenarian widower and the middle-aged conscientious friend coming to grips with her troubled marriage.
It’s not just about the food, but the food does become a third character in this memoir. Each chapter begins with the menu for that particular week.
Chocolate Soufflé. Grilled Sirloin Steak with Bourguignonne Sauce. Pommes de Terre Sarladaises. Orange Zest Salad. Apple Galette. Fennel Rémoulade over Lettuce. The often-difficult-to-pronounce (for me, at least) dishes are just a smidge of what Edward creates for Vincent.
The narrative will frequently break down the meal by relating step-by-step preparations, but, surprisingly, this doesn’t read like a cook book nor are there actual recipes included in the back of the book.
Like I said earlier, it’s not just about the food. It’s about the dear, close friendship that develops between two lonely people who need each other at this special point in time.
Another reason our “Mary & Me” blog readers will find this book of interest is Edward’s love of writing letters to his wife.
After she died, Edward began writing her letters, telling her about what he had cooked that day, which of their friends he had bumped into. Shortly after we met, he started to write to Paula about me.” (Page 22)
His letter writing inspired Vincent to do the same with her deceased mother.

“One afternoon, when I was particularly upset, I took Edward’s advice and was startled by the result. When I sat down to write to my mother in a notebook, sadness spilled out of me. And once it was out in the open, I could no longer keep it under wraps.” (Page 67)
This story will touch readers in a variety of ways.

Bon appetit!

Women’s Friendship Day Giveaway with $25 Barnes & Noble

This giveaway has ended. Thank you to all who entered on our Facebook Page.

It’s here…your chance to win a prize package on September 18, National Women’s Friendship Day, valued at well over $60. Not only are we celebrating female friendship, but also the one-year anniversary of our book release.

First of all, drumroll please…

barnes__noble_gift_card

We have a $25 Barnes & Noble gift card. (not the one pictured)

Next up, a copy of Mary & Me: A Lasting Link Through Ink

mary-meOne winner will also get all this; two packages of notecards, “A Prayerbook for Spiritual Friends” by Madeleine L’Engle and Luci Shaw, a package of cloud/sky paper with matching envelopes, “Signed, Sealed, Delevered: Celebrating the Joys of Letter Writing” by Nina Sankovitch (who wrote a blurb endorsement of our book), “Gift of a Letter” by Alexandra Stoddard, the two books recently reviewed by Mary Potter Kenyon, the lovely “Pen to Paper: Artists’ Handwritten Letters” edited by Mary Savig, and “Nobody’s Cuter Than You: A Memoir About the Beauty of Friendship” by Melanie Shankle, and because both of the Marys journal; “The Journal Keeper” by Phyllis Theroux, “Grace for the Moment 365-day journaling devotional” by Max Lucado, and “The Simple Abundance Journal of Gratitude” by Sarah Ban Breathnach. Finally, a box of Sunblooms stationery by Amy Butler with 30 sheets of 6 different designs and matching envelopes.

mary & me prize.jpg

How do you enter?

*Go to our Facebook Page and “Like” it, if you haven’t already.

*Share the Giveaway Post on our Page

*Comment under the Giveaway Post

That’s it. Three easy steps. One winner’s name will be randomly drawn on the evening of September 18.

Good luck!

Book Review: Nobody’s Cuter Than You

Nobody’s Cuter Than You: A Memoir About the Beauty of Friendship was released in April 2015, weeks after Mary & I had submitted our completed manuscript for the September-released Mary & Me: A Lasting Link Through Ink.

nobodys-cuter-than-you-cover

Had we been aware of this book, we would have added it to our resource chapter. Had we read it, I would have wondered if my friend Mary had unconsciously picked up a phrase from it.

On page 16 of our book, Mary Jedlicka Humston looked back on our first meeting:

nobodys-cuter-than-youmaryme

On page 3 of Shankle’s book, she said much the same about her first meeting with her friend Gulley.

nobodys-cuter-than-you

I read Shankle’s wonderful book in one sitting, marveling at how much like the other Mary she was; forming female friendships with such ease. She was Mary JH, but with more money! Yes, I found myself wondering as I read her book what my life would have been like in elementary school if I’d had the wardrobe Shankle had. Is it easier to make friends with the right clothes, the hip hairstyle, and keys to a car handed to you on your 16th birthday?  It made me think of our Book Club discussion questions at the back of our book.

nobodys-cuter-than-you-mean-girls

Certainly having parents pay for college and access to Dad’s credit card made Shankle’s college days more fun than the years at UNI for either of the Marys, who had to pay their own way. I was a married woman my second year of college, had my first baby and worked part-time around my husband’s college classes and part-time job. There were no nights of partying, no groups of female friends. By the time I graduated college, I was the mother of four children, with four more to follow. When would I have had time for weekend road trips in which to bond with fellow females?  I found myself getting a little, um…jealous, and if you’ve read our book, you know that is a very uncomfortable feeling for me. I was even envious of Shankle’s fourth grade summer camp and the resulting turning point in her faith in Christ. I had to wait until age 51, and the loss of my mother for my own turning point in faith.

Nobody's cuter than you envy.jpg

Surprisingly, Shankle tackles the topic of jealousy in her book, too. Maybe one can’t discuss female friendship without broaching the subject. Perhaps everyone deals with envy at some point in their life.

The similarities between our books doesn’t end there. The author obviously shares a love of epigraphs with me. (the quotes of others at the beginning of each chapter). She also touches on loss, and the importance of being there for a friend.  Readers of Mary & Me know intimately of how my friendship with Mary deepened after I faced the loss of my husband.

Nobody's cuter than you2.jpg

After reading Melanie Shankle’s memoir, I want to read her other books. I’m now a follower of her Big Mama blog. I want Melanie and her Gulley to sit down at a table with Mary and me to share a cup of tea (or coffee~ it is not clear which beverage this author prefers) and talk into the night about friendship, faith, jealousy, and what it means to be a Christian woman.

Readers will have a chance to win a copy of this book in the giveaway that I will be posting on our blog tomorrow.  Not only will we be giving away several books, a journal, and stationery, but a Barnes & Noble gift card is involved~  The giveaway drawing will be held next Sunday, September 18, which just happens to be National Women’s Friendship Day.

Book Review: The Bridge Ladies

reviewed by Mary Jedlicka Humston

“Maybe it’s the game that keeps them together more than the bonds of friendship. Maybe Bridge itself is the glue that has kept the ladies together for over fifty years. Sometimes you have to call a spade a spade.” The Bridge Ladies, pg. 316

bridge-ladies

For the past 55 years on Mondays around noon, Bette, Bea, Jackie, Rhoda, and Roz faithfully gather for lunch and bridge.

Roz’s daughter, Betsy Lerner, and the other women’s children, watched their mothers congregate at each other’s homes while growing up. The longevity of these friendships captivated Lerner. Enough so, that Lerner, the author of two other books and a partner of a literary agency, spent nearly three years attending their bridge sessions and observing them. She visited and interviewed all five Bridge Ladies multiple times, often in their own homes, to better understand the unique bond between the women. She also details (often humorously) her struggle to learn the game by taking lessons from a variety of teachers. What resulted is a fascinating book on friendship.

Interwoven amid the account of these enduring relationships is also the unwrapping of a mother-daughter story, that of Lerner and Roz. Lerner, who grew up in the 70s, isn’t shy about sharing her personal history of that time period with some nitty-gritty details.
But I most enjoyed the Bridge Ladies’ stories, complete with current events from each decade. We learn how they not only shared their joys but stoically weathered parenting challenges, tragedies, and the losses of their long-married spouses (with nary a divorce among them).

If you read The Bridge Ladies for the friendship theme alone, you won’t be disappointed.
If you love bridge, you’ll enjoy this book even further. Though I never learned the game, I’ve played a variety of cards since elementary school. I found the specific bridge details puzzling, but it didn’t detract from my enjoyment of the book.

If you want to read the angst of a mother-daughter relationship, then you have another reason to pick up this book.

I believe The Bridge Ladies and their unique friendship is best summed up by Lerner’s mother Roz when she says, “That’s what we do.” It’s a humble but apt statement on the steadfastness, love, and joy of long, enduring friendships.